Sometimes it just seems impossible to keep a brave face on things.
We are having no success in finding a new base for Zach and I am having to explain over and over again to very well meaning people about Zach’s autism and needs.
Explaining this is never easy, it sometimes feel like I am beating myself up every time I have to do it, especially on a day when I am having to explain multiple times.
I don’t expect ‘Joe Average’ to have any in depth knowledge of autism, the autistic spectrum and the fact that people with autism maybe are or maybe aren’t also physically disabled, but Zach is definitely physically 100 % able and stairs are definitely not a problem…that seems to surprise some people.
Disability is a word which has so many different connotations for so many people, mostly people are thinking of somebody in a wheelchair and probably look far more sympathetically on that person than they do to the person who is struggling with sensory overload and trying to make themselves understood loudly!
Then there is the word sympathy. Sympathy has its place but that place isn’t making me feel as though my life has been ruined because my son has autism. Empathy is much more appreciated and practical help! It is far easier to be sympathetic as that just involves making what are considered to be the right noises and having people tell you how wonderful you are because you evidently love your child and don’t want to send them hundreds of miles away to a residential placement….’it would mean you could get your life back’!
Well he is my life! He is my career and if he is happy we are happy! I don’t want to be told how wonderful I am because I love my son! He is my son, it would surely be far more of a surprise if I didn’t love him!!
Now I’m not saying I NEVER want to be told I am wonderful (John Saysell, please take note!) but I just don’t want it to always be in the context that I am wonderful for being a mother!
I am lucky to have Zach, I adore him and love him like most mothers, I don’t want to be constantly talking about the bad bits, I want to tell everyone about the good bits!
Sorry for the rant, this morning has been particularly challenging with phone calls to people who through no fault of their own have little or no experience with autism….
Tomorrow evening I am going to have my first experience of laughing yoga and boy! do I need it….however when I say my first experience it isn’t true, I’m always the giggler at the back of the room!